NYC....my new weekend home?

what is it that makes a relationship work? Is it love, is it compromise, is it security? and whos to say that one relationship is better than another? when my boyfriend and I met, I feel the reason why we worked so well and became the envy of his friends is that we were just us and allowed each other to be their own individual as well.  We were fun, happy and easy going.  We had a thrill for life and did not interfere with each other's quirkiness.  somewhere along the way we began to lose that because we tried to conform to the relationship of normal society, when we both knew that what we wanted was completely different from that.  We did things together, played house, did things with my son, and he eventually moved in.  We would always have these heart to hearts about what it was that was now different between us.  We knew we loved each other, we knew we wanted to be with each other but something changed.  Then one day we were sitting, people watching up in Brooklyn before a show and it hit us.  We had talked about moving up to NYC to be around people like us but we were both hesitant to make the move for one reason, my son.  Doing so would mean uprooting him, something I am still not opposed to but also more importantly it would mean becoming more of a family something both of us knew wouldn't work.  I have a very different approach to what I want from my significant other and maybe one day step-father.  My relationship with my son is very important and one I dont want to share with anyone, plus growing up with step-parents I am rational enough to understand it is not their child and they will never feel how I feel about him.  Anyway we realized that what would work best for both of us is for him to move up to NYC, I would visit on weekends when Colin was with his father and we would once again be able to live our separate lives while still being together, something both of us yearn for.  We decided to stop being every one else and to just be ourselves again.  I am selfish in believing this is MY world/MY life and a man is only there for an added bonus.  I do not need a man to make me happy, I need a man to love me.  It all seems so clear right now and nothing else seems to make sense.  So this is where we stand and I couldn't be happier.