I do not fear death, rather I fear an unlived life

Ok yes this is my next tattoo but I wanted to raise the question of Bucket Lists.  I believe you are never too young to start one.  I just wrote mine and it will forever be a work in progress.  But I am pinning it up on my bulletin board and crossing out whenever I do something.  Also be true to yourself when writing it.  Write down things you truly want to accomplish, whatever is important to YOU.  And I say it like that because I wrote on mine Buy a home and crossed it off immediately because yes I will own a house one day but you know what, that is not a dream to me.  And thats ok with me.  I am not going to write something down just because I am SUPPOSED to own a home, I am only going to write down things that truly are important to me.  Write your Bucket List out and lets get to living a life worth living, whatever that means to you!

Future Thanksgivings

It's holiday time!

Now that Thanksgiving is tomorrow I have officially started imagining what life will be like next year when I have my own house and my husband to share our "first" Thanksgiving together. I can't wait to decorate and put pumpkins and turkeys on the table and hang fall wreaths on our door. My poor fiance already knows he's in trouble when it's time to decorate. At least he has already mastered "Yes dear" :)

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and here is a glimpse of what my house will most likely look like next year :)

Love this for outside!

These would look great on a coffee table

What my centerpiece would most likely look like.

The cutest place settings in the world

For the mantle

Now, let's hope I get that crafty when the time comes.



With love and pearls,
Ashley

Public Schools

Watched Waiting for Superman documentary last night and some facts I learned that I would just like to share...
The Teachers Association Union funds more candidates than the NRA.
There is this system of weeding out the smart and the dumb that was introduced in the 70s when most children were not going off to college...and it worked then because you find the smartest and help push them along because they were going to be your next doctors and lawyers and politicians...but today that system fails more than 50% of the children because in order to make a living today you must attend college and more than 50% of the children are not college ready by the time they graduate.
There are certain schools that the government knows more than half of the children will drop out or be sent to prison.
The average cost of an inmate for one year is $33,000 and if you times that by 4 that is still more than if you send a child to a private school for 12 years.
The charter schools came about because they are government funded but do not have to follow all government regulations that public schools must follow.
The Teachers Union has something in their contract that does not allow you to fire a teacher or take away their certificate even if you know they are a horrible teacher.  So instead of firing a teacher you must pass the teacher along to another school in something called the Lemon Dance.  So ALL these bad teachers are still teaching or should I say NOT teaching our children.  Now being a nurse I know that if I am incompetent my license can be taken away.  So why is it that we are entrusting our future into the hands of someone who is incapable of doing their job.
There is a charter school called KIPP that started in the Bronx, an area where most kids knew more people who overdosed than went on to college and this school came up with a curriculum where no child is left behind and they even increased the school hours and held school during weekends and summers in order to keep every child up to par and guess what...these kids now score BETTER on standardized tests than the rest of the other public schools in the nation...yes these same kids that were once expected to drop out and OD or go off to prison.
 The No Child Left Behind Act is coming up to its final years where 100% of the children are supposed to score average on the standardized tests and guess what..in all states it is still only at about 20%.
Americans are not qualified for the jobs in America especially the technology based ones and that is why we are hiring Non-Americans to fill those positions!!!
So people get involved in your child's education, PLEASE!!!

Happiness Project

So I picked up this book called The Happiness Project.  The insert read something like..."I am not particularly not happy but I'm not the happiest I could be.  I have a husband and child, am a writer and live in NYC but I feel as though I am not appreciating life as I should be...blah blah blah."  I said this is perfect a woman's journey to find happiness when she already has it, I must read this book and see what more she finds out.  Then as I started reading, I thought to myself, wait there are definitely a number of things I want to change in my life but when I think of them all it seems overwhelming and so you always put it on the back burner for a rainy day, yet the rainy day never seems to come.  And it clicked, this chick is simply taking something we all want to do, which is better ourselves and progress to some type of growth through out our daily lives and has simplified the shit out of it.  She has picked 12 things to change or alter or better about herself or something she wants to learn and dedicates a whole month to that one thing in hopes that it will carry on.  Research has shown that it takes 30 days to break or form a new habit and so this project seems completely doable and worth trying.  And at what better time then start of a new year. I have tried to narrow it down into 12 things...here is what I have so far and in no particular order of importance...
1.) Cook more

2.) Write

          Book

          Blog

 3.) Health

          Exercise

          Drink more water

          Decrease Alcohol

          Poop regularly

          Cleanse

 4.) Meet new people

 5.) Money

          Work more

           Work out Debt

           Launch Double Aces Event Planning

 6.) Learn French

 7.) Learn piano

 8.) Simplify life

          Connect with nature

          Hike more

          Walk more

          Camp

          De-clutter

 9.) Bond with my son Colin

 10.) Be a better girlfriend

          Be sexier

 11.) Become more cultured, worldly

          Better vocabulary

          Current events

          Volunteer

 12.) Learn Photography

So here I go...on my journey to a happier more balanced me.  

I Said Yes to the Dress!

I can't believe it...I'm officially getting married now! Now that I have my dress, it truly feels official. I would love to post a picture here for all of you to see but I think my fiance secretly reads our blog so I don't want to spoil the surprise! All I will say is that it is absolutely gorgeous, totally me, and made my mom sob like a baby.

My mom, Alicia, and I spent a Saturday dress shopping. I made 2 appointments with lunch in between so we could have time to discuss what we liked, what we didn't like, etc. I purposely picked Alicia and my mom to come with me as well because I know we all have different styles but all can agree on what looks good, what is flattering, and what makes my Kim K booty look even bigger. I knew I wanted to look like a princess, Alicia wanted me to show off my curves, and my mom just wanted me to try on different dresses.

The first store was great and they had tons of dresses from the designer I liked. Plus I found this one dress online and they had it at the store. The process was exactly how I thought it was going to be. You strip down to your bra and undies and the sales associate completely dresses you. It was tons of fun and I could definitely get used to someone dressing me everyday! I have to say I was a little disappointed when I left though. There were 3 beautiful dresses I was torn between at the end of my 1 hour appointment but none of them gave me the "this is it" moment. Even the dress I thought I would most certainly be buying didn't give me that feeling. I expected to cry or have my breath taken away but that didn't happen. At lunch I was a little down thinking I would never find a dress or that I would just never know which one I wanted.

I went to my second appointment not expecting anything. We picked dresses off the rack that were unlike any of the dresses I tried on earlier so I could make sure to try on every kind of style. I tried on about 10 dresses at the first store and picked about 12 dresses at this store. There was one that caught my eye that I really wanted to try on first. The details I could see peeking out of the bag looked beautiful. I tried it on and pretty much knew that was my dress. I didn't cry but when I saw myself in the mirror I could picture me walking down the aisle in that dress. I was super excited to show my mom and Alicia. I came out and big smiles came across their faces as well. Kim was helping me at this store and she had a really good point to tell us all to help keep us on track. She told us we will narrow everything down to top 3 dresses and at the end of the appointment, I can try those top 3 on again. Once I got my top 3 dresses she would ask if I wanted to replace the current dress with a dress in the top 3. It really helped us narrow things down and figure out how much we liked each dress. This was my first dress here but I knew it was instantly in my top 3. I agreed to continue trying on dresses because I didn't want to sell myself short and there may have been something better for me out there. I went through all 12 dresses and had my top 3. One my mom really liked, one Alicia really liked, and my dress. Unfortunately for my mom, her pick was the first one to go. It was just a little to basic for me. I was torn between my pick and Alicia's pick. Alicia's pick was a little bit tighter to show off my curves but still fairly comfortable to sit in. Both of our picks were elegant and classy but modern at the same time. Luckily for me, my pick won! It was the only dress all three of us agreed upon and had all of the characteristics that we originally wanted. It makes me look like a princess, shows off my waistline, and made my mom cry and be happy for me.

I cannot wait until September 14, 2013 now! I have been excited ever since Jay popped the question but now I can't wait to wear this dress and just feel absolutely beautiful. It will be the most magical day ever. Maybe I'll even show you guys a sneak peak once it gets a bit closer :)

With love and pearls,
Ashley

Laugh Out Loud

A very short post today ladies and gents but this is one to surely get you laughing out loud!

One of my girlfriends found this website and sent it out to about 4 of us. We all know which ones we are (I am definitely the "PIZZA IS LIFE!" one and the "When I Get Ready to Shakira" among many, many others). It puts a smile on your face and a good laugh when you have either done these, or can send them to your friends who have done them.

Sit back, relax, and laugh your ass off!

http://whatshouldbetchescallme.tumblr.com

With love and pearls,
Ashley

Chicken Parm Casserole

I totally am not doing this "recipe" post right but I had to upload this picture of my dinner last night! It was soooo good. My hunny and I made our own version of a chicken parm casserole.

I don't have the exact recipe or pictures of the steps (sorry guys I decided to do this after we made it!) but here are the basics:

Cook pasta according to directions until it is al dente (not totally soft) since it will cook more in the oven.

Cut the skinless chicken breasts into small pieces (nugget size). Bread them using eggs, flour, and breadcrumbs. Then put in a skillet with oil to cook them. They should cook until they are no longer pink inside but not until they are completely done since you will be putting them in the oven.

Heat up pasta sauce.

Once everything is warm, get out a casserole dish. Put sauce in first, then pasta, then chicken, then top with mozzarella cheese & parmesan cheese. Repeat layers.

Cook in the oven uncovered for about 20 minutes (or until the cheese melts and everything is hot).

Enjoy!!

I promise to do a proper recipe post next time!

With love and pearls,
Ashley

The Fine Line Between Love and War

Sometimes relationships can just be so hard. One moment you feel like you're on Cloud 9 and the next, you feel like you are stuck in a black hole that you can't dig yourself out of. Sometimes you don't even know when it got so bad. All of a sudden, a fight about a family event turns into "I'm so bored, there's no spontaneity, this relationship is one-sided, there's no intimacy, I'm not appreciated". Where do you go from there? The person expressing those thoughts feels a bit better after they are said, but the person on the receiving end begins to think everything they do is wrong. That the basic existence of them is now a burden to the other.

How can one partner have so much ill-will towards the other? Why do these feelings develop? Can they come overnight? Can stress from your job affect your outlook on your relationship? Can that stress overpower the good things you have? How can one side have all of these things brewing while the other has no idea? Is it common to go from one feeling to the next? Does everyone in the world have these relationship problems or is it just me? Am I really that awful of a person where everything I do seems to be the wrong decision? Is it even possible to recover from this or is it the beginning of the end? Will one partner always be walking on eggshells afraid to upset the other? Will every fight from this point out continue to be this bad? Will things ever go back to happier times? How long does the entire relationship just feel like an act?

So many thoughts, emotions and results play around in your head. You don't know which ending your story will have. You hope for the best but should you prepare for the worst? One day you seem to be fine and coping. The next day you can't help but cry continuously. Is reality setting in or is it the fear of what will happen?

Clearly now I am in a dark place. I'm sure there are others out there as well going through something similar. Hopefully these thoughts will help us get through this tough time:

playing mother AND father

Where do I begin?  How about the episode that went down yesterday between boy and woman! So a little background...my son's father doesn't work, well works long enough to quit and then collect unemployment, got his car repossessed, had two AMAZING girls and screwed it up, lives in his dad's basement, smokes weed daily, plays PS3 all day long and doesnt know how to cook, clean or do his laundry.  Oh and did I mention he's 30.  So needless to say I have been battling with trying to make my son the complete opposite of his father, and thought that I was doing a great job until this football episode happened yesterday.  To me, a great parent sees their child's strengths and runs with them. My son is extremely athletic and one of those kids who it just simply comes natural to.  And if you know me at all you know he didn't get one inkling of it from me.  Hell I can't even walk a straight line or do a juming jack sober.  So thank God for that.  Anyway my son last year, all 6 years and 49lbs of him, played tackle football and looked so damn cute while doing it.  I thought he enjoyed it but unfortunately he was a rookie and couldn't start.  So this year I assumed he wanted to play this year and be the little sta,r so I signed him up.  First week of practice we were on vacation, so he missed it.  Next week he went Monday and then Tuesday rolls around and he cries his little pathetic eyes out saying he hates it, its hard and I'm the worst Mommy for making him go...get over it kid.  Then Wednesday his father was supposed to take him bc I had to go get my birthday outfit obviously for AC that weekend and the little bitch didn't go, father said he didn't want to.  Thursday I made him go and said he wasn't going to turn into a quitter and a loser and that was that.  So come Monday, oh and yes AC was off the chain that weekend and I am STILL hung over in case you were wondering, this little fairy decides to throw a hissy fit again saying he hates football and wants to quit all together.  Stuck with a dilemma.  I allow him to quit and he becomes his failure of a father or make him play and he hates ME forever.  What to do, what to do?  My thing is that I do not want him to quit just because it is hard.  I want to teach him to stick things out so he becomes proud of himself for finishing.  It's more than a sport, it teaches him teamwork and respect and devotion.  Another thing I have to take into account is that when a woman is told she is having a little boy she immediatley bestows upon him every apprehension and affliction she has towards a man and decides on that very day to raise him a certain way so that to her he will be the perfect man.  I get that and I take that into account yet just as when a woman fights with a man and the man does not do or say EXACTLY what she wanted him to, we become even more infuriated. So what am I to do if he turns out to NOT be that perfect man I envisioned 8 years ago? Do I become disappointed and resent his father or myself? Or do I accept it?  That is exactly where I am right now! To be continued......

Book & Wine Club

We have decided to start a Book & Wine club! I know, we're getting old :) We both love to read and we both love to drink wine so we figured why not combine the two!  

Our idea behind the club is to read the book, comment (obviously) and pick a date to meet, talk about the book and bring a wine and/or food item related to the book. This is just a great way for us to keep in touch with our girlfriends and to do something different. We'll keep updates on here too in case any of you need some new reading material.

It was impossible to choose just one book for our first choice but we decided on Girls in White Dresses by Jennifer Close. The insert encompassed to us what we are going through as 20 some year olds and it seemed like a fun, easy to read book to start off the club. Have any of you read it? What were your thoughts?

With love and pearls,
Ashley

Philly, You Should Be Ashamed!

I cannot believe I am actually posting about this right now. Philadelphia should be so ashamed of itself. A very close friend of mine is friends with the person who alerted the media (and police, and mayor, etc) about this situation so I am getting it all firsthand. I am saddened to say that NO-ONE is doing anything about it. This is a complete and total disgrace and no wonder why people say Philadelphia is one of the dirtiest cities in the United States. I am completely embarrassed to say I (used to) call that city my home. You would think, after the press this situation is getting, someone would have rushed out to clean this up, to be the hero and say "Yes, I care about my city and I am just as shocked and appalled as you all are" . But no, countless hours later, it is still there untouched. I am not even hinting to you what I'm talking about because it is just so shocking you need to see it for yourself...

http://www.rightthisminute.com/video/philly-cabbie-leaves-little-dookie-behind

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/video/#!/news/local/Caught-on-Cam--Cabbie-Defecates-on-Philly-Street/162677056

I am sorry to those of you not from Philadelphia. I promise we are not all like that! I swear I use the toilet (99% of the time anyway) and I take pride in my city. I just spent the weekend downtown missing it and wanting to come back. But, unfortunately, none of the people in authoritative positions apparently feel the way I do.

With love and pearls (and no poop),
Ashley

NYC....my new weekend home?

what is it that makes a relationship work? Is it love, is it compromise, is it security? and whos to say that one relationship is better than another? when my boyfriend and I met, I feel the reason why we worked so well and became the envy of his friends is that we were just us and allowed each other to be their own individual as well.  We were fun, happy and easy going.  We had a thrill for life and did not interfere with each other's quirkiness.  somewhere along the way we began to lose that because we tried to conform to the relationship of normal society, when we both knew that what we wanted was completely different from that.  We did things together, played house, did things with my son, and he eventually moved in.  We would always have these heart to hearts about what it was that was now different between us.  We knew we loved each other, we knew we wanted to be with each other but something changed.  Then one day we were sitting, people watching up in Brooklyn before a show and it hit us.  We had talked about moving up to NYC to be around people like us but we were both hesitant to make the move for one reason, my son.  Doing so would mean uprooting him, something I am still not opposed to but also more importantly it would mean becoming more of a family something both of us knew wouldn't work.  I have a very different approach to what I want from my significant other and maybe one day step-father.  My relationship with my son is very important and one I dont want to share with anyone, plus growing up with step-parents I am rational enough to understand it is not their child and they will never feel how I feel about him.  Anyway we realized that what would work best for both of us is for him to move up to NYC, I would visit on weekends when Colin was with his father and we would once again be able to live our separate lives while still being together, something both of us yearn for.  We decided to stop being every one else and to just be ourselves again.  I am selfish in believing this is MY world/MY life and a man is only there for an added bonus.  I do not need a man to make me happy, I need a man to love me.  It all seems so clear right now and nothing else seems to make sense.  So this is where we stand and I couldn't be happier.

Wedding Photographer

Shopping for a wedding photographer has probably been the hardest part of my wedding planning so far. I got the venue I wanted right away. (Yes, people have already told me I'm crazy by only going to one place but it is perfect!). I got the church I wanted right away. Now, it's time to make some actual decisions. We have seen 2 photographers so far and we have 2 more to see in the next couple weeks.

Each photographer is exactly the same but so different in many ways. I wasn't sure what to expect or what to look for when finding a photographer. I figured I would just look at the pictures and if I liked them, you're hired! But no. Each photographer can take the same exact shot and it will come out different every time. It really depends on the style we want, the style they shoot, how talented they are, and what the surroundings are.

Luckily Jay nor I are very stuffy or snobby so we both agreed we want to keep the posed, traditional photos to a minimum. The church is where we are going to be taking most of those pictures because it is the most fitting. After that, we want fun, crazy, not typical but beautiful shots. Sure you can put the bridal party in a straight line with us in the middle but some will be kneeling, some will be sitting, some will be jumping. We hate all of those cheesy photos that all look the same. I want to be able to look back in 50 years and think, wow our wedding day was literally the best, most fun, and happiest day of our life.

Do you have any photographer horror stories? What is the best shot from your wedding?

With love and pearls,
Ashley

Coldplay

Jay and I went to see the Coldplay concert on Friday night and let me tell you it was the best concert I have ever been to!!!! Did any of you go see their show? I have always enjoyed Coldplay but did not expect them to put on the show that they did. It was truly amazing. They are such great entertainers and they can seriously sing...no lip-synching or autotune with them! Jay didn't really expect much. He was only going and being a wonderful fiance but he agreed and said it was the best concert also. I wish I could just relive it over and over again. Everyone was so happy, not too many drunk people, we could get up and dance around, and sing our hearts out! Here are some sneak peaks:

With love and pearls,
Ashley

Happy (Belated) 4th of July!

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July! Alicia and I both went over to Jay's (my fiance's) house for some swimming, drinking, and barbecuing! We had such a good time. We got to watch the kids swim in the pool while we caught up about love, life, and everything in between. My mom came over as well so it was nice to see her enjoying herself with the in-laws. I'm going to apologize for being an awful blogger in advance because I wanted to take pictures of all of the food we had but I didn't remember until people started digging in! I know...fail on my part. Next time I will get pics, I promise!

I did make this delicious Italian-Style Red Pepper Dip and it was a big hit. It was a little more watery than I would have liked so maybe next time I will put in the whole block of cream cheese and that might thicken it up. But we had such good food to choose from. We had hot dogs, beef & chicken kabobs, home-made chicken wings, corn on the cob, potato salad, macaroni salad, bbq shrimp and shrimp marinated in garlic & white wine, my mom's awesome pineapple bread concoction, ice cream cake, and Stock's cake. (Total side note: If anyone ever makes a trip to Philadelphia, you have to stop at Stock's Bakery and get one of their pound cakes. They are pure heaven!).

What new recipes did you try? Were they a hit?

With love and pearls,
Ashley

the one?

how do people truly know you are with the one you are supposed to spend your life with? are there specific signs to look for? is there a feeling in the gut of your stomach? when you picture your life without them, do you tremble in fear? sure some people are brave enough to admit their relationships aren't perfect and it requires work, but yet how do you know it is worth it to stay? how do you know you wont wake up one morning and regret you wasted your one true love on just a love.  Are we so scared to be alone or so involved in the idea of love that we tend to look past most things or feelings, or lack thereof?  Or is there even a soulmate for anyone? I'm not afraid to say that the media and books and movies and childhood fairytales have all distorted my idea of what true love is. But even knowing that I'm fucked up in the head about love, I STILL cant change my perception of it.  I will forever be looking for that old myth fantasy idea of my knight in shining armour.    But am I being so unrealistic to the point of fucking up every relationship I am in because they do not add up to my ideation of Prince Charming?  I just do not know at what point is it time to move on or time to learn as a couple?

Puppet Mommy

No secret I had a child when I was 18.  I did not know how to react to being a young mother so naturally I engrossed myself in it and only spent time with him.  I thought that was what you were supposed to do.  No one schooled me on how to not lose myself in motherhood.  I missed out on my early 20s of running wild, screwing guys (although I did my fair share in high school, hence why I had a baby at 18) fucking up, making mistakes, meeting awesome people that would teach me new things about life and just finding myself.  Instead for an entire year all I knew was breast feeding and baby talk.  I ditched my friends because how could a mother party like that, not to mention I couldn't drink unless I wanted Colin to go through alcohol withdrawl at 4 mths.  I became depressed, all the while losing who I was.  Now don't get me wrong I do not regret keeping the baby, he is the apple of my eye, but I just wished someone was there to guide me along the way.  After a year I decided to go back to college, finish my nursing degree and get the fuck out of my parents house.  Did that, done.  Still lonely.  WTF. Then Colin started to get older, he wanted to hang out with friends, the leash was being detangled little by little.  I sat back and asked myself "Who am I?" Yea I am a mother, yea I am a nurse, yea I am a sister but really who am I?  It is by far one of the simplest/hardest questions you can ask yourself and I didnt have an answer. So after that, I broke up with the baby's father and decided it was time to find me, the real me, not this facade of who I presented myself to be.  I got in contact with my friends, started doing things I enjoyed and yet I was still scared I was doing something wrong.  Why? Because society shows you that to be a good mother you stay at home, raise the children, drive a minivan with a "My child is an Honor Student at blah blah blah bumper sticker, have dinner on the table at 6:00, clean the house you pay a mortgage on, be a chauffeur and take your kids to band practice and baseball tryouts and play dates, have family vacations on the beach, knit, drink tea, wear mommy jeans, complain about not being able to lose the baby fat 15 years later, talk to neighborhood mothers about renovating your kitchen, never have sex with your husband because the kids are in the next room, and go to bed by 9:00 to get up and do it all over again tomorrow.  BORING!! I'm sorry but I just would rather sit in a bathtub of battery acid then do that day in and day out. But does that make me a bad mother? NO! That is what I have finally realized after 7 years of playing into that warped idea of what a mother should be.  So I now continue on my journey of finding myself as well as helping an incredible little boy find his place in the world as well.

When To Be Quiet

Ok people I need some advice. I am a very outspoken person. If I have something on my mind I am going to say it. Now don't confuse me with those trashy Housewives who don't have a filter. I have perfected speaking my mind and saying it nicely - most of the time anyway. But there are times in life when you just need to give someone a bitchy reality check and tell them to get off their high horse. In this instance I don't know if I can. It's not a friend or my own family member who needs a reality check, it's someone else's family member who I am fairly close with. Some could even say we're going to be a family (if you catch my drift wink wink).

When does it get into "crossing the line" territory? This person has been so self involved ever since I've known them and it's really getting old. If you have good news, they have to top your news. If you have bad news, they have even worse news. If you're not talking about them, they either don't pay attention or make it so you have to talk about them. When am I allowed to say enough is enough? I am constantly fighting this war with myself because normally I would rip them a new one but now, I'm afraid it will cause an even bigger argument then what it's worth. I've tried making jokes about it and dropping extremely subtle hints but they are either so oblivious or so into themselves it's not working. One day I'm just going to explode and it is going to be a disaster.

I've tried talking to my "friend" about it but they are honestly no help. They just keep making excuses for them or giving them the benefit of the doubt or just changing the subject completely. I understand they are your family but come onnnnnn. If they're annoying me this much and I hardly ever see them, how can you not be stabbing your eyes out with forks! I feel like I'm stuck in a lose-lose situation and no matter what I do, it's never going to get better.

Has anyone else had to deal with something like this before? Did it get better or worse for you?

With love and pearls,
Ashley

The Perfect House

Ughhhhh! Can I just start off saying that house hunting is an awful, awful thing?! Now that Jay and I are "grown ups" it's time we start looking to buy a house. We have gone to a few open houses and found a few houses that we really, reallllly liked. But they were in awful neighborhoods, or had a tiny kitchen, or didn't have a finished basement, or didn't have everything that I've ever wanted in one house. I know that last statement is a ridiculous wish that will only come true when we become millionaires and can build our own house. But it's still really hard to find important, necessary things in one house. We plan on living there for a while, having children and maybe moving if the house feels too small for our growing family. We want to find a house in a great school district because there is nothing worse then changing schools (trust me I've done it!). We want a nice backyard for our dog and kids to (eventually) run around in. We want something with a lot of parking so when we have dinner parties or holidays, people won't have to park around the corner and down the block. We want a nice, somewhat updated kitchen so he can teach me to be as great of a cook as he is. We want a finished basement so he can make that his man cave and not put his ridiculously ugly sports memorabilia anywhere where people can see it :) So far, we've found places that have some of these things but not one house that has enough of them that we would be willing to make sacrifices to call it our home. Damn you Pinterest for making me think houses like this actually exist:

Amazing kitchen/dining area

Of course a 2 story closet is necessary!

An entryway like this would be amazing

You would think a wine room would be on the top of my list for as much wine as I drink!


With love and pearls,
Ashley

faking orgasms

Ok ladies why do we fake em? Don't lie, you know you do! Is it we are trying to make the boys feel better about what they are doing? Is it because we are not going to cum so we fake it to get it over with? The thing about faking them though is that we are letting the man think he did a good job when in reality he needed to do something different in order for us to cum.  So why not just let them know how we need it done in order to achieve ecstasy we all know we want? Are we scared to hurt their feelings? But if we continue to fake it, we jeopardize not making that "o" face forever! Yea I know how to make myself cum because I've been doing it since I was 6 years old in the bath tub with the shampoo bottle, but don't we owe it to ourselves to let our man know how to get us there as well? I deserve to orgasm every time, hell they do..... those simple minded bastards!

Hockey Vote

Ok everyone. In honor of the intense Philadelphia Flyers vs. Pittsburgh Penguins playoffs going on we're going to have our 1st official vote segment! But we're going to make it more our style... Since there are like 7 attractive guys in the entire hockey world we're going to have a sexiest man vote. Your choices are between:

 Andreas Lilja of the Philadelphia Flyers

vs. 

Craig Adams of the Pittsburgh Penguins

Let us know what you think ladies! And if you find any other hot hockey players, please let us know so we can start enjoying hockey ;)

With love and pearls,
Ashley

OMG I'm Getting Married!

He did it! We're engaged!

I'm definitely a little behind the ball because he did propose 2 Saturdays ago but I feel like it hasn't officially set in yet. I keep looking down at my finger and have to remember that is a real engagement ring and not one of the many cocktail rings I'm used to wearing.

I am beyond excited to marry Jay. He is amazing and I truly am the luckiest girl alive, but I am 100% completely scared to officially "grow up". Is this a normal feeling? I have to start my own life, with my own family, in my own house, and make my own new memories. I won't be able to come home after work to mom and dad's, sit on the couch, and wait until they make me dinner. I will have to be the official dinner maker in my house, which will probably not be true since Jay is a much better cook than me.

But enough of the sad stuff, the great news is that I booked the venue of my dreams!!! For those of you who live in the Philadelphia area, you have probably heard of Cescaphe before. If you haven't, you must be living under a rock! They are rumored to do the best weddings ever, seriously. I am beyond excited to add my name to the Cescaphe brides after next year. I cannot wait. This truly will be a fairytale come true :)

If any of you have any advice for a newly engaged bride, please share!!

With love and pearls,
Ashley

todays men

I got in a huge fight this weekend with my boyfriend about drinking too much and hanging out with his friends all the time.  And it came after I read an article about why guys never grow up. Now before I continue, let me say I am an advocate for getting drunk and partying, so I knew it was something more.  So I got upset because I just wasn't feeling it, doing the same thing we always tend to do.  I wanted to lay low and chill, but oops I picked a hell of a day to feel like this, St. Pattys Day. My issue though was that he didnt pick up on my quietness and decided not to approach me because God forbid I ruin the day dedicated to drinking.  Anyway we talked it out, voiced our opinions on the matter and I hope worked it out to be more intune with each other's aka my feelings and being more proactive about keeping each other happy.  But the article and this fight truly got me thinking about todays men, no I'm sorry, our generation of losers.  Why are they so into themselves? What has changed that has made all the romance in a relationship go away? It used to be that a man found a girl that he wanted to make his wife and then did what ever he needed to do to provide for her and his family.  Now a days it goes like this.....a man goes to college because that is what he is told to do, picks a stupid major that he will eventually change in order to stay in college longer and mooch off his parents until he is 35, graduate, move back home bc he can't find a job that he "likes" because God forbid he pick a job to make a steady income or bust his ass to the top, no no, these boys are too proud for that, they belive they are owed more than that and will eventually find his dream job and mkae the big bucks because he knows a guy who did ( a guy who is in the 3% of the people who actually got a job doing what he wanted to do) but that seems to be motivation enough to hold off for something bigger and better! Anyway, he then refuses to take girls on "dates" (who dates anymore) because why put on a tie and pay for a meal when you have your mommy to cook for you, a computer filled with endless free porn sites and a right hand to pleasure yourself?  So instead of trying to find a wife and start a family and grow up, the typical male develops bromances for companionship, someone who understands his needs of male bonding time, Playstation, drinking, watching the game, jerking off, random sex and not answering to anyone.  It is time to change.  We need to let this batch of selfish pricks die out.  Why do you think the lesbian rates are so high?!?! A duh! Guys SUCK and adopting African children is the new fad!

Poor Snooki's Baby

I cannot resist any longer! I have to comment about the Snooki being pregnant thing. I will admit, when Jersey Shore first came out I was fist-pumping with the best of them. But now, it's kinda creepy and The Situation is 200 years too old to be hanging out and partying like that. The worst part about this is Snooki's baby stands no chance in society. Nicole, as she now likes to be called, may be growing up and maturing, but the Jersey Shore will live on forever and her child will have to deal with her behavior for the rest of his/her life. We have all made mistakes. I have made plenty...we'll just call them my college years. But my life was not broadcasted on television for millions of people to watch me hook up with some fugly dude and then fall on my face as I was doing the walk of shame (that may or may not have happened). Snooki did all that and more and I'm sure her poor child will never be taken seriously or will have to prove themselves much more than the average person. All in all, I feel bad for this baby and I hope that Snooki and her baby daddy are doing this for the right reasons and not to try and change their images.

But as bad as I feel for the baby, I cannot help but pee myself anytime I read some of these...

With love and pearls,
Ashley

Practicing My Gang Signs

I saw this post today on The Luxury Spot (we totally love this site by the way and it actually inspired us to do this one) and I could not stop cracking up. There will be no long post to go along with this picture, just pure laughter. So sit back, relax, and practice away.

With love and pearls,
Ashley

Oscar Deliciousness

In honor of the Oscar's this weekend Food & Wine Magazine put out some Best Movie-Inspired Recipes. Click the link for all 13 of them and their recipes but here are a few snaps of my absolute favorites:

Oscar Nominee: The Help

Minny's Chocolate Pie

Side note: Have any of you seen or read The Help and know why this pie is so famous?

Oscar Nominee: Midnight In Paris

Hemingway Daiquiri

Oscar Nominee: Moneyball

Hot Dog Melts

Side Note: Only a few select of you know my obsession with "Texas Tommies". Those of you that do know, I will be making these every day until the day I die.






I hope all of your mouths are drooling as much as mine is! Are you doing anything special for the Oscar's?

With love and pearls,
Ashley

February Resolution - Teach Someone To Ski

Obviously I missed January's edition but I made it for February...I taught my boyfriend how to ski! My boyfriend has never been skiing before and my family skis quite often. In order to entice him, I made sure we went down with a whole bunch of friends so we could ski all day and party all night. I even made sure the house we rented had a hot tub so he could relax. It worked!

There were 16 of us who made the trip to the Poconos and it was fantastic. We were all on different ski levels so he did not feel intimidated. Some only learned how to ski the prior year so we tried to keep them all together. I encouraged him to take a lesson to learn the basics. We got there about an hour before the lesson started so I figured I would help him out with learning to put his skis on, falling and getting up, etc. Well he put those skis on and off he went! He is a natural athlete so he picked it up easily. When it was time for the lesson, he already made it down a trail so we decided to skip the lesson and keep on going. I felt like a proud mama watching my child walk for the first time. He really did so good, listened to what I had to say and took some hilarious falls along the way.

It was such a success I even got him to go down a black diamond on the 2nd day! Man we are good. Until next month's adventure...

With love and pearls,
Ashley

Restaurant Week

It's Restaurant Week in Philadelphia! Well actually it started last week and is still continuing this week but you catch my drift. Some people are overjoyed. Some people could care less. I, for one, love it.

The trick with Restaurant Week is knowing which restaurants to go to. You do not want to go to the big name, uber popular restaurants. I've been going to Restaurant Week for about 5 years and I've been to many, many restaurants and made many mistakes along the way. Anytime I've gone to the big name, tourist spots, I've been disappointed with my meal and understandably so. Your paying $35 for a three or four course dinner (which is a great deal) but to them, it may be the equivalent of one entree or an entree and a side salad. The owners aren't happy, the servers know they're not getting as big of a tip as they're used to so they're not as friendly and doting as you want them to be.

I typically stick to the BYOB's or the smaller, not as popular restaurants. This year I went to Salento and GiGi's. Both were seriously awesome and I'm sorry to say I forgot to take pictures of my food. Salento was a small, Italian BYO and was the perfect restaurant for girls night. Me and the man went to GiGi's and were treated to a very delicious 4 course meal. We were actually so stuffed we got our dessert to go!

So all in all, Restaurant Week is awesome and if you need any suggestions, don't hesitate to ask!

With love and pearls,
Ashley

I'm Sorry?

I'm sure I'm going to offend some people with the post but I seriously need to vent.

I am in charge of sending out emails for my work to our clients. I sent out an email the other day that had a picture included. It was a white family with grandparents, parents and children. I sent this picture out to show that my workplace is very family and friend oriented and did not even pay attention to their race. I received a phone call today that someone took offense to the picture because it wasn't diverse enough. Is that what society has come to, that I need to make sure each picture has someone from every race photographed in it before I send it out? How is it that a picture of a family laughing is offensive to people? Why do I have to walk (or type) on eggshells to make sure that I don't offend someone? I can't even tell a story without looking over my shoulder to make sure no one is close enough so that I may not offend them. If I sent out a picture of an entire African American family, would people feel the same way and be as upset? Am I even allowed to say African American or am I going to receive some hate mail now? I though we were supposed to be moving forward in society and it almost seems as if we're going backwards. We've gone from one extreme of excluding different races to the other extreme of making sure each race feels included. Are we ever really going to live as equals? Not if we treat each other like this.

With love and pearls (I'm sorry is that offensive too)
Ashley

The Sandlot Era

I am so happy my son's favorite movie is The Sandlot and not some hyped up, unrealistic, battle movie that most of today's kids are watching.  I wish we lived in the era of The Sandlot, when life was simplier, kids played outside, and there was little to no worry of your child getting raped and killed by people that should be shot and removed from the population ASAP.  This movie encompasses all the morals I try to teach my son in this hateful, money hungry, depressed world.  To have friends, play hard, stay loyal to those you love, laugh and make fun of yourself and others (in a cordial way).  I love the olden days and hope to embody and pass on to my son as much as I can from the fun-loving, gay impression I capture from stories and books and movies.  Long Live the good ol' days!
Peace Love and Happiness

Bieber Wedding Fever

I have to share this video with you. I am a typical girly girl and have been planning my wedding since I came out of the womb. My boyfriend is absolutely amazing and just says "Yes Dear" anytime I mention something wedding related. We are both pretty outgoing and crazy so we want our wedding to be the same. I saw this video today and can only hope we do something like this...

With love and pearls,
Ashley

To Be (Thin) or Not To Be (Thin)

So of course I'm sitting here, after just finishing my lunch, and thinking I really need to go to the gym today. But why? I absolutely hate the gym and hate almost every minute of it while I'm there. Yes, it has been proven that the human body needs exercise to stay healthy but does it need as much as society says it does? Why do WE put so much pressure on ourselves to work out and stay thin? Every person I talk to is constantly talking about their body in one way or another: I hate my legs, I'm really toning up, that last bite cost me 3 extra points, etc.  Half of the people that go to the gym are only there because society thinks they're fat, not because they're trying to get healthy. I myself am only going to the gym because people have noticed I've put on a few pounds. Marilyn Monroe was one of the most beautiful women ever and she was rumored to be a size 14! It didn't seem to matter what size she was, they only noticed how beautiful she was, just ask JFK...not appropriate? How is it that in 50 years time, a woman that size would now be called obese or plus-size and would be mocked by others? Why can't we go back to those times where women are beautiful because of their skin or their eyes or their personality and not because they're a size 2? I will admit I am not totally happy with my body so I could benefit from going to the gym but if I decided not to, would I be talked about behind my back or be called or thunder thighs? I guess only time will tell. And maybe in 50 years from now, we'll only be beautiful if we have 6 rolls instead of a 6-pack.

With love and pearls,
Ashley

I'm ok with average, well kind of...

Why do so many strive for perfection or strive to be the best and then get disappointed when we never reach it?  Isn't it safe to say that majority of us are just normal average human beings living our lives day to day never doing anything extraordinary?  I'm siting here writing my final paper and at the end, I just give up, like always, and say welp it is what it is and hit the send button to my professor, never double checking or proofreading.  I'm not beating myself up over a stupid paper, and while I hope for an A, obviously, I say to myself, C = passing!  Yet so many of my classmates miss out on their kid's football games, or hanging out with friends, or constantly fight with their husband because they simply do not have the time anymore to devout to a relationship.  I understand that we set a goal for ourselves, as in my case getting my masters so I can teach nursing, yet most of us fail to recognize that every day, every step we take is a goal.  We need not to forget that life is happening while we are trying to acheive some big goal, whether it be getting a degree, buying a house, or finding Mr. Right.  So I wonder why we become frustrated, stress out, and miss out on what is really important to us while we try to strive for perfection.  Also are we making TOO BIG of goals for ourselves that they are so unattainable and we are only setting ourselves up for disaster and misery?  Back in the olden days, people's goals consisted of having and keeping a job, raising a family, staying alive, having food on the table.  Today people want to conquer the world, want to be the next big star.  Hate to burst your little bubble sweetheart but why not shoot lower, build your confidence a little first, soak in the averageness and sigh a sigh of relief.  Lets face the facts and be more realistic please! And just fucking live your life!

Its me bitchessssss!

Ok. So school is almost over...for the time being....so now to meet the other half of the billingsgate diaries.  Me llamo Alicia.  Just wanted to give you a quick background of the name.  Ms Billingsgate sounds like a reformed, respected woman who belongs to country clubs, wears furs and pearls, holds galas and gets chauffeured around in a hot Bentley.  When tsk tsk the word billingsgate originated from the vulgar, abusive language used at the gate of a London fish market.  Yea man! Ms Billingsgate has a dark side!  What I want to portray in this blog is the fact that you can still hold a career, be sophisticated and cultured and yet still be raw and real. (Let me apologize in advance because my writing is like my thoughts, all over the place.  Can't help it, I write what I think, Love it or hate it)  So all in all this blog will keep you updated on what we think is important in life, sex, drugs and alcohol, oh yea and everything in between.  I will write what I feel, give you food for thought and push as many boundaries as I can.  Don't be offended, take my writing for what it is, a reflection of my crazy ass and nothing else!
Peace Love and Happiness

Yours truly

Resolutions?

Happy New Year!! It's the first day back at work since the holiday and it feels like I've been gone much longer than 4 days.

Now, I am not one to make New Year's resolutions because let's face it 1. No one ever follows through with them for the entire year and if you say you do, you're lying and 2. You shouldn't need the start of a new year to eat healthier or stop cursing or to start a family. But here I go, I'm giving in to the trends and making some resolutions. I will try to stick with them as long as I can but I am not promising anything!

2012 Resolutions

1. Lose weight (just like the other 4 billion people in the world because 3 billion of you are already skinny bitches)
2. Grow my business
3. Stop spending money on useless things and save money for more important things in my future: house, car, wedding, family
4. Do something different every month. It can be as simple as baking a pie or as dedicated as learning how to play golf. As long as I try new things, I will be happy. This is the only resolution I really hope I keep.
5. Make more of an effort to organize events with friends. Whether it be monthly dinners, birthday parties or a night out to the movies.

Have you made any resolutions you hope to keep?

With love and pearls,
Ashley